My sister is not so great with animals [Exhibit A]:
This is what happens when our neighbors’ Yorkie digs his way out of his backyard and runs about in the street until someone like my Dad spies him and takes him in. Â Not all are quite so welcoming…
How did I not know about this?
MY COCKER SPANIEL HAD A MIDDLE NAME. And not just any middle name. Â My parents were not only weird enough to name the cat “Kalamazoo”—and own a cat in the first place—they were weird enough to name the dog of my childhood “Shadow Matarese Johnson.” Â The dog who lived 18 years. Â I just found this … Read more
A Quote
While my mother trimmed a long patch of hair on the dog’s head… My grandmother (around 80): [sharp intake of breath] Ooooo…You’re gonna make her a butch.
Pet humiliation has reached a high point [Exhibit A]:
Because your family of four at the football game clad in blankets with mittens attached isn’t enough. Â And the little dog sweaters they sell at Old Navy aren’t enough. Â Now you can REALLY keep your puppy’s tail between its legs. This is the kind of thing I like to see pop up in my Facebook … Read more
I never had a shot at being cool [Exhibit A]:
My father and his puppy dancing
Things I learned while staying at my parents’ house
Apparently I do not even look old enough for “Can I see your ID, please?” when I purchase wine and beer at the grocery store. Â I just get “Uh…Is your mom gonna get this or what?” The more expensive an item was, the more inclined the dog is to destroy it. Â Give her the cardboard … Read more
